Why Do You Want to Be Like Them? : The Realization I'm Not Conventionally Smart - Crying in the Car

 

Why Do You Want to Be Like Them?

The Realization I'm Not Conventionally Smart - Crying in the Car

By Adam Mundorf

Why Do You Want to Be Like Them?

This blog will be mostly my inner monologue with some questions along the way, just for a warning.  I'm putting my thoughts down and through that process to find some 'a-ha' moments.  It's self exploration.

I get asked often about why I'm comfortable where I am in life because my chosen profession isn't what most people would want.  I'm not an exactly ambitious individual but am content with my own lot in life.  People respond typically with an almost pity and that perplexes me.  Maybe it's because I have such simple wants and desires.  I value the inexpensive/simple pleasures in life.  I value peace and quiet, a comfortable bed, cute animals and running water.  I for sure get if you burdened your life with obligations i.e, family, huge debts and/or some idealistic dream of being fabulously wealthy, you'll need to change how content you are.  Only you can answer if that's the right decision for your life and only through deep introspection can you come to a conclusion.  Anytime someone looks at me with pity or disdain at being happy where I'm at, they're almost always not where or who I want to be.  I view life as a complete picture.  It's not just my bank account.  It's my spiritual health.  It's my heart.  It's my body.  It's my health.  It's how I affect others.  Everything to me is connected and everything matters.  The people who look at me with disdain or pity, just simply aren't where I want to be.  They are addicted to cigarettes, are stressed out, work longer hours than necessary, are obese, don't exercise, are divorced, promiscuous, are drunks, don't have a higher purpose, are drug addicts and are weak.  Sometimes it's all of these.  Why do I want to be like them?  They're living proof that the formula is wrong.  There's a saying that the only people who will remember you worked late are your kids and that couldn't be more true.

The Realization I'm Not Conventionally Smart - Crying in the Car

I'll be honest, it helps me to say the above words.  I remember vividly a morning where I drove to work with my Dad over to Philly.  We were on the Walt Whitman Bridge and I started sobbing a lot.  I was upset that I wasn't smart or college capable like my best friend and other kids I knew.  My Dad started crying as well because nothing is worse than seeing your kid thinking he's not enough.  Not everyone is born with an academic mind.  That's just the way it is.  It can be incredibly frustrating as a kid because academic success is hammered into your head like it's the only way to have a good life.  It hurts a lot of people because not everyone can do it.   I'll never be conventionally successful and that's okay because I define my own success.  Now, I'm not saying that we don't need to play by society's rules because we certainly do.  We need to make enough money, pay our taxes and obey the law of the land.  What I mean is it's okay to not be conventionally extraordinary, some of us are just ordinary and that is a-okay.  We can't control the fact that we weren't born with great minds or that some circumstances hampered our full potential.  We can find success in other ways like exercise, eating right, spiritual health, taking care of animals, doing society's essential tasks and cultivating a life that values something different than what conventional society tells us is necessary for a 'good' life.

It will take time to reformulate what society told you is the definition of a successful and good life.  Just have patience with yourself and start thinking more positively about where you are in life.  It's okay to be ordinary by society's standards, we can be strong in other ways.

Thank you for reading.