What I Learned from 32 to 33 : Focus and Self Worth : Freedom and Betrayal : Letting Go of Expectations and Enjoying the Journey

 

What I Learned from 32 to 33

Focus and Self Worth : Freedom and Betrayal : Letting Go of Expectations and Enjoying the Journey

By Adam Mundorf

What I Learned from 32 to 33 

I missed my annual birthday blog posts from 30 to 32 because I lost motivation to write for some reason but now I'm back writing consistently.  I am grateful for every year of my life I receive from the universe.  Things can change fast whether through an accident, brain aneurysm or other unfortunate life circumstances.  While I live a prudent and great life, sometimes shit happens and I'm always open minded that I might be next for an unfortunate circumstance so everyday is unequivocally a blessing.

When I think about the past year of my life, I think my biggest lessons can be summed up as follows : focus and self worth, freedom and expectations.  I'll break down each of these and why they meant so much to me over the last year.

Focus and Self Worth

Focus is an extremely powerful tool but as with any tool can cause harm when misapplied.  I see it on the daily not only with myself but with others.  They'll focus on the negatives of life rather than appreciating the positives.  Not only that, we are oftentimes our own worst critics.  They will zoom in on all of their imperfections, even though to others they are unnoticeable.  It could be the person who's a bit chubby, focusing on their weight.  It could be the person who might have some acne, overly focused on covering up.  It could be the person who has a deformity and is overly focused on what others will think of them. I could go on and on.  

We are undeniably our own worst critics, especially when it comes to appearance or lifestyle.  Life is like a video game and we are the main character.  The secret is that nobody is thinking about you at all.  All of your insecurities are amplified in your head through negative self talk and I implore everybody to try your best to combat that and begin focusing on the positives.

When you arise in the morning, look at yourself in the eyes and build your confidence from there.  If somebody will judge you based on your imperfections, fuck them, you wouldn't want them in your life anyways.

Freedom and Betrayal

I get a lot of guff from people about my choice to be single and the fact I'm wealthy but don't live like I am.  I think a lot of it honestly stems from jealousy of the fact I'm not tied down to anybody, any location or anything.  If you heard the incessant bitching I do about dating, boyfriends, girlfriends, marriages, abuse, debt, mortgages and abusive people, I'd be jealous of me too.  If I wanted to move to California, I would.  If I wanted a house, I'd buy one.  If I wanted a girlfriend, I'd put in the work and get one.  If I wanted a new car, I'd purchase one.  The truth is that I live an incredibly simple and happy life.  They're jealous of freedom and can't wrap their heads around why I pursue a life in the opposite direction.  I aim to reduce my obligations, live a life of solitude with a small circle and try my best to minimize commitments while being able to budget properly without dipping into my accounts.

This leads me to another issue.  Your significant other should be the person who has your back no matter what.  It pains me to see people with their girlfriends or boyfriends when hours ago they were emotionally cheating and/or were complaining about said person.  I've witnessed physical cheating in the past and that pains me the most.  Then they'll act all hunky-dory like nothing even happened.  I just shake my head with shame and pity for the man/woman, who deserves so much better.

Misery loves company but hates freedom and contentment.

Letting Go of Expectations and Enjoying the Journey

For the biggest lesson I've learned over the last year has been letting go of expectations and just enjoying the journey/process of whatever you're doing.  There's a saying that the grass isn't greener on the other side but it's greenest wherever you water it.  You'd be surprised how simple life is when you just let go of goals and just 'be to be'.  I think a huge reason why people are unhappy in life is their expectations are so God damn high.  The perfect person doesn't exist.  The perfect relationship doesn't exist.  The perfect job doesn't exist.  The perfect food doesn't exist.  Life is perfectly imperfect and until we accept that, we will always be disappointed.  Perfection is the enemy of progress.

I mainly learned this lesson through weight lifting.  For almost two decades I've been a student of physical culture.  Within many strength training programs there are lofty goals and expectations.  People try and fail thus being disappointed with themselves.  A few years ago, I got sick and tired of stressing out over arbitrary goals.  Instead, I have a destination in mind (a long term goal) and I take the scenic route.  It could take me one year or ten years.  My mind has never been calmer and my stress has never been lower with this approach.  I learned how to let go of strict rules/expectations and rather chose to enjoy the journey while still making progress.  If you're interested in reading more about it follow this link : Train for Longevity

The destination is the journey.

Conclusion

Well, I hope everybody enjoyed this blog.  I am happy to be back writing and to share what rattles around in my head with all of you.  I am incredibly grateful for the feedback I've received on previous blogs.  

Thank you for reading.