Absence of Desire and the Desire for More : Obligations, Peace and Quiet : Fun and Friendships : Live for Today

Absence of Desire and the Desire for More

Obligations, Peace and Quiet : Fun and Friendships : Live for Today

By Adam Mundorf


Absence of Desire and the Desire for More
Being humans we naturally desire more, it's in our dna.  We never have enough and end up on a hedonistic treadmill.  This is why we see people who seem to have it all, end up offing themselves.   With every million you get, you want a million more.  With every attractive girl you see, there's a better one right around the corner.  One drink is never enough and you crave more.  

It's never enough.

How incredibly lucky am I to have escaped the distant green light of desire.  I am never reaching for anything.  I don't crave power, titles, money, ladies, drugs or liquor.  I'm not sure how I became like this.  Maybe it's seeing how many lives have been ruined by divorce, addiction and debt.  As I grow older, the more right I feel and quite frankly the more peaceful my life becomes.  


Obligations, Peace and Quiet
I get a lot of jealousy when people find out that other than work, I have nothing to do.  This is by purposeful design.  I have no dates, no parties, no get togethers, no dinners, no hangouts and no kids to bother me.  I just see so much anguish hidden in jokes.  I see exhausted friends of mine on their days off taking kids to soccer games, living vicariously through their children.  I see people having to get permission from the wife to enjoy recreational activities or having a list of chores to do.  I hear jokes about never getting married but see the truth behind the eyes.  I see over 50% marriages ending in divorce and the husband getting fleeced for 1/2 of his assets and ultimately his freedom.  I see a lot of pain in people on a daily basis and it's obvious conventional wisdom fails.

I still remember when I asked my father what he wanted for his birthday and he said 'Peace and Quiet'.  At the time I didn't understand but now I understand more than you know.  What is more wealthy than a day with nothing of note happening?  Things can be worse than normal.  Things could be sporadic, surprising and extraordinarily bad.

You had a 'boring' day.  You are more fortunate than you know.


Fun and Friendships
If you are dependent upon others for life enjoyment you will always be disappointed.  People just simply disappoint and much of that is because of lofty expectations and/or disappointment in yourself.  You have to learn to have fun by yourself.  As sad as it sounds, it's the path to happiness.  The same issue happens in relationships : how can you love others when you don't even love yourself?  What many fail to realize is that friendships will naturally dissipate as you grow older through life circumstance.  People die, get married, life philosophies hit a fork in the road and people get figuratively captured in the rat race.  Unless you really put in the work, friendships and even romantic encounters will disappear.  Those natural social circles you took for granted as a kid vanish.

This leads me to another note on friendship I want to make abundantly clear and especially the benefit people have knowing or having known me.

I am not a fair weather friend.  I am not the friend that will text you everyday but then disappear when a situation arises.  I am the friend that watches from afar but helps with groceries when you can't put food on the table.  I am the friend that gives you a couch to crash on when life whoops your ass.  I am the friend that keeps the lights on if you can't afford to.  All I ask is that you show proof that you are trying to help yourself and not self sabotaging yourself.  As I grow older, I am growing more and more weary of being generous with my time/money.

What do you respect more?  The friend for life who contacts sporadically or the one that shows up when life gets hard?  Until I'm in the dirt, I'll be there but don't ask me out to lunch because I'm not showing up.

One last thing about friendships.  Everybody reads friendships is a two way street and nobody ends up reaching out at all.  If you do crave friendship/companionship there is no excuse with the amount of connection we have in the modern age.  Don't be afraid to make the first move.  You'd much rather have a life of 'oh wells' than 'what ifs'.  

Live for Today
I thought about writing some more for this blog but I think this song by one of favorite bands : 'The Grassroots'.  Sums it all up.  Live for today.

When I think of all the worries that people seem to findAnd how they're in a hurry to complicate their mindsBy chasing after money and dreams that can't come trueI'm glad that we are different, we've better things to doWhen others plan their future, I'm busy loving you
One, two, three, four
Shah-la, la-la-la-la, live for todayShah-la, la-la-la-la, live for todayAnd don't worry 'bout tomorrow, ay-ay-ayShah-la, la-la-la-la live for today (live for today)
We were never meant to worry the way the people doAnd I don't need to hurry as long as I'm with youWe'll take it nice and easy, and use my simple planYou'll be my lovin' woman, I'll be your lovin' manWe'll take the most from living, have pleasure while we can

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